My Days with My Bishie Buddies
by Milanhime
Summary: Only read these drabbles if you're bored! Rated T for some dirty humor in an upcoming drabble s .
1. Greetings Fellow Readers!

Hello everyone~ This here is a very lame, but amusing mini-drabble series. It will be about my days with my favorite bishies of choice.

**NOTE:** I own none of these bishies except my oc's. Also, prepare for some dirty humor in some of these drabbles! I also apologize for this sad sad summary….


	2. Tamaki Suoh: Mr Nasty

I don't like doing this character:"..." type of format, but it was the only thing that worked for this particular drabble. I might have to do other ones in this format too, so please excuse me for my low quality writing skills! *bows down*

**Mr. Nasty**

NOTE: **_'...'_** are the character's thoughts!

* * *

I had a glorious day, being a usual visitor at the Host Club. But my mood got ruined...

Hikaru: "Hiya Milanhime!"

Me: "Oh! Hello Hikaruru!"

Tamaki: "Ah! My adorable princess has arrived! Come to daddy!" *spins me in the air like crazy*

Me: "T-Tamaki-senpai! Stop! This is scary!"

Hikaru: "Yeah you're scaring her my lord!"

Tamaki: "But look at her! She's so kawai- eh."

Hikaru:*Hikaru snatches me back* "There you go!" *sets me down*

Me:"Arigatou Hikaruru!"

Hikaru: "No problem. Anyways did you learn more with my help yesterday?"

Tamaki: **_'W-What?'_**

Me:"Yeah, you made it easier! But don't be so rough with me next time! I can't do rough! It's much more pleasant when the person is gentle!"

Tamaki: **_'Rough? Gentle? Oh no! IT CAN'T BE!'_**

Hikaru: "But we were at it for two hours! I can't get anymore gentle than that! You can't be gentle for something like that!"

Tamaki: *melting on the floor* _**'Two. Hours? AHHHHH!'**_

Me: "But it hurt when you did your 'special moves' on me!"

Hikaru: "Sorry ok? I just wanted to show you how things are done my way!"

Tamaki: _**'Oh my word! What profanity! Her innocence has been soiled by that-that-that VILLAIN!'**_

Tamaki: "Mommy!"

Kyouya:*slaps his laptop shut* "Grr... What?"

Tamaki: "Are you listening to this profane conversation?"

Kyouya: *sigh* "Don't just jump into conclusions Tama-"

Tamaki:"I must confront them!"

Me: "Hikaru! You know how bad and slow I am with spor-"

Tamaki: "Milan! Hikaru Hitachiin! I am ashamed and disgusted!"

Me: "Tamaki-senpai what are yo-"

Tamaki: "Enough of your talk! How can you do this to me? My precious daughter! Waah!"

Me: "What's this blabber Tamaki-senpai? And stop calling me your dau-"

Tamaki: "Oh look at this mommy! Her unification with this devil has caused my princess to become a rebel!"

Kyouya: "Dear lord daddy... Can you just shut your trap?"

Me: "Unification?"

Tamaki: "Mommy! Have you gone to their side? No one loves me! Wait, Haru-!"

Haruhi: "You're annoying sempai."

Tamaki: "Uhoohoo! My own daughter!"

*Haruhi sighs*

Hikaru: "Listen Boss. I don't know where you're going with this, but Mi-chan and I did noth-"

Tamaki: "AND YOU HIKARU! You truly are the devil! You soiled my precious daughter! Her innocence, LOST! You two should be ashamed of yourselves! Talking profanely about being ROUGH and GENTLE with each other! Oh HOLY JESUS! What sin have I committed to deserve this?"

Hikaru: "What? Oh Boss! We were arguing about how I was too hard on-"

Tamaki: "AHH! HARD? You kiss your mother with those lips? How dirty!"

Hikaru: *Hikaru pops a vein* "Look Boss, try to hear me ou-"

Tamaki: "And you Milan! How can you do this to daddy? You can't you lose your virginity so easily! And you especially can't give it to this devil!"

Hikaru: "What? Why I outta-"

Tamaki: "You have to treasure it! Not treat it like trash! Give it to someone who deserves it! Like me! Only give it to daddy!"

Me: "Oh my goodness Tamaki-senpai! Are you listening to yourself? Hikaru was helping me improve my skills in sports yesterday, and we were just arguing on how he was too hard on me!"

Tamaki:"...What?"

Me:"Ugh... Hikaru and I didn't do THAT!"

Tamaki:"... So you didn-"

Me:"Yes! I didn't give my virginity away! You should know me better!"

Tamaki: "Oh... What a relief!"

Me: "You know what? You're one sick guy!"

Tamaki: "WHAT? Mi-Milan! I-"

Me: "To twist my conversation into something sexual like that, and to tell me to only give my virginity to you? You already refer to me as your daughter too! That would be major incest wouldn't it?"

Tamaki:"Milanhime! I'm sorry I-"

Me:"No! I've had enough of you for this whole week! I always thought you were my ideal prince, but boy was I wrong!"

Tamaki: "Milanhime?"

Me:"You shouldn't be called the Host Club King at all! The title Mr. Nasty fits you much better, hmph!"

*leaves and slams the door*

* * *

...LATER...

Hikaru:"... Boss?"

Tamaki: "M-M-Mr-Mr. Nasty?" *faints at his emo corner*

* * *

Yay all done! Sorry if this was dirty to you guys! I just got this inspiration from my cousins (yes they have sexual humor, and they will attract you like a magnet! SO BEWARE!). I wonder if some of you actually took this drabble the wrong way... Shame! Well, it was intentional ha ha! I would never write literal smut! (Cousin: DON'T BELIEVE HER! I'VE SEEN HER SECRET STASH OF- Me: Shut up!) I could just see this happening, don't you? Anyways, when I mentioned dirty humor in the memo, I meant it for this specific drabble. This just makes my stomach hurt from laughter! Well, thanks for reading! I'm gonna go listen to Nico Nico Douga singers now! *skips away in girlish manner*


	3. Len: Your 'SPICE' is Getting Bland

This is what happens when a certain Vocaloid decides to come over and play. Result: there was no point in him even being here. Remember, I don't own Len! And even if I could I probably wouldn't want that no offense ha ha ^^ Note that this story was inspired by this image: user_images/M/MI/MIL/MILANHIME/1297547773_8997_

ENJOY~

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**Your 'SPICE!' is Getting Bland**

"Waking up to the 4am call  
"Yesterday, where were you and who were you with?" you asked me,  
Alternating between evasions and excuses  
Having fun using them  
"You're the only thing that I need", you said  
Too cliche, it makes me laugh  
Just want to be tied together with someone?

Bitter and HOT SPICE  
Just this once I'll let you have some  
My taste that makes you dazed  
Feel it with your body-"

"LEN!"

"Ah. What is it, Milanhime?"

"When I said if you wanted to play with me at my house, I didn't mean singing in MY bathroom!"

"Hold on, I'm almost done."

"Get out now! You have been singing 'SPICE!' 5 times in a row now!"

"Just wait! This will be my last tim-"

"I need to pee!"

"...Oh"  
*Opens the door*

"Finally!"  
*I push him out and slam the door*

~~~Milanhime while in the bathroom~~~

"Len?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't believe you took your shirt off and used my eyeliner to write 'SPICE!' on your arm!"

"But don't you like what you see? I do look good, you can't deny that!"

"...no comment"

"See? I told you!"

"Well, I wanted to play games with you, not have you check yourself out in my bathroom. You egotistical vocaloid!"

"Egotistical? Pfft!"

"And you know what I think about your latest hit?"

"What? Sexy right?"

"It was at first, but after experiencing that terror I hate it!"

"There's no way you can hate it! All the girls love it!"

"They probably won't love it after hearing you singing it over and over!"

"That's not true! You just have no taste in what the girls love"

"Are you saying I'm not a girl?!"

"T-That came out wrong!"

"Hmph! Len, I'm going to tell you this since I'm your friend."

"Milanhime?"

"Your 'SPICE!' is getting bland."

"Huh?"  
*hears the sound of the toilet flushing*

* * *

I hoped you guys liked this! And as for now I am just updating the same stories back and forth on this site and Quizilla, but guess what? Can I say UTAPRI?! Do you know why I said that? Well- ha ha you're so cute~ Did you think I would tell you?


	4. Kyouya Ootori: I Will Call my Parents

Ah~ The glasses Onii-sama that my best friend adores. If we had a relationship, it'd go like this, and if I murdered his persona... Sorry. I don't own him, Bisco Hatori does!

* * *

**I Will Call my Parents**

*sighs while typing*

"What's wrong Kyouya-sempai?" *looks over his shoulder at his laptop*

"I don't understand why I have to plan your 16th birtday for you."

"Well, your father told you to. And being a good son, you can't say no."

"He could've assigned something more important to me."

"Hey that isn't very nice to say to a person! I know we don't know each other very well, but you have been put in the position to serve as my birthday party planner as well as my brother-figure."

"I can ruin you, you know. I can plan a party that will ruin your days... And I would still complete the task that was given to me." *evil smirk*

"That's mean!"

"Father did never say 'make an exceptional birthday party' for you. He just said to 'plan a party' for you. So here's a deal: how about I make you a birthday party for the PRINCESS that you are in exchange for your 1 month service to me?"

"You can't do that to me! That's low even for you."

"I can go as low as I want. After all, I am your OLDER BROTHER aren't I? I know what's best for you. If you don't do what I say, not only will I reveal your childhood dream journal to the entire school body, you won't even have a birthday party." *looks at me from his laptop*

"You can't blackmail me."

"Yes, I can. You know how scary I can be." *closes his laptop*

" No. You can't." *smiling sweetly*

"And please tell me why I can't Milanhime?"

"I will call my parents."

"...Your parents... I thought they were busy?"

"They are; but when it comes to their #1 daughter, they can stop working. Not only does your father owe my father, your entire family fears my mother; especially you and your dad! I'll tell her how you treat me. I'll have her give a call to your father, maybe even have her pay a visit to talk about how WELL you and I get along. You know my mother's temper and connections very well. She can ruin your entire familiy's business and reputation! My mother is also good friends with your father's superiors; she can make them turn away from your father. She isn't called the Personification of the Tiger for nothing."

*reopens his laptop*

"... So tell me about that dress you wanted the twin's mother to make for you."

"There we go!"

"I can't believe you actually blackmailed ME. You're the first. As your brother-figure, I am very proud."

"Oh! Thank you!" *smile*


	5. Lavi: I'm Not Married Yet!

Once again, I don't own these characters except for myself! Here's the pervy bookman for y'all~

* * *

**4. I'm Not Married Yet!**

*exits bathroom*

"... Hot showers feel so nice~ You feel so clean, like a queen... must eat something green... wow that that was bad rhyming, ha ha!"

*sits on bed*

" Uncle Komui was sure nice to take me in while my parents were on vacation... Wait. How did I even get here? I remembered he came to my house to get me... This is like Inception! Woah! Oh wait, I forgot that I knocked out in the car, he he!"

"... Milanhime~~~~" *closet opens*

"AHHHHH!" *I squeeze my Bun Bun-chan to death as I shoot out of my bed* " What are YOU doing in here?!"

" I came to welcome you to the HQ! It's been what, a year that I first saw you? Boy, you are sure lucky your mom is friends with all kinds of people! Because of that, you get to make friends with amazing people; like this ravishing beast standing before you!"

" Um... Lavi right?"

" Umhmm!"

" Ah... Allen-kun said that people shouldn't come in my room unless they have permission..."

"Mah~ I just wanted to say a hello!"

" Yeah wel-"

"There's nothing wrong with that right?!"

" I guess. But it's late! And mother always said to never be alone with a boy you don't know too well. This situation is making me uncomfortable too...Please leave... we can talk tomorrow." *looks at herself: damp hair and a pj dress. Looks at Lavi: a creepy but sexy man with an unbuttoned shirt*

"Hah~ alright, but let me give you a welcomer's hug!" *opens arms with a smirk and wiggling eyebrows; taking a step forward*

"Ah... Lavi don't move any further! I'm not used to having physical contact with a male for more than 5 seconds! Wah! Stop moving!" *moves backwards*

" I'm sorry, I didn't hear you~" *walks forward faster*

" Stop! Please! I'm getting scare-oomf!" *I get squeezed by the giant rabbit* " O-ok, we hugged! Now plea-"

" Oh Milanhime, I remembered you when you just became a first year in high school! You were so adorable! Have I ever told you that you looked so snuggable?" *hugging and oddly moving me around in his arms*

" Uh-uhuh! Yes! You told me that when you came to pick me up from school... Wahhh!"*voice getting shaky* " Please let me go now..."

" Yes, and now you are changing~" *his impact of squeezing me diiferentiating every now and then*

" Okay I get it! Wait huh?!"

"You're fading from cuteness-"

"What?!"

"And now you becoming sexy!"

"HAAAAAAAAAA?!"

" STRIKE" *he releases me and turns to look into the window while I curl up into a ball*

" Hmmm... You're 16 now, right?"

*gasping and panting*

"Last time I hugged you, you were a B. Now you're a C!"

*shaky panting*

" Very good news! I can see that you will delevop marvelously! Just hurry up and grow! When you're 18, come back so that we can have some FUN alright?!" *turns around and looks down* "M-Milanhime?"

*outburst of tears* "WAAAAH! You touched me!"

"Are you crying? O-oh, I'm sorry! I didn-"

" What am I going to do?! I feel so dirty!"

" Dirty?!"

" I'm not married yet! A girl can't be touched like that! Terrible!" *looks at me*" YOU!"

" I didn't know that you fel-"

" I feel violated and embarrassed because of you! You're a good for nothing pedorabbit!"

" PEDORABBIT?! I-It was just a little display of my affection!"

" No! I am not like the other girls that let you off! Boys scare me sometimes, and now you just have increased my fear! How will I ever get married now~ HWAAAA!" *crying a river*

" I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do that to you ag-" *looks at the place where I was* "Where'd she go?"

" KANDAAAAAAAA~~~~ WAHH!" *runs to Kanda*

" What is it, little girl?"

" He-"

~~~~~~~~~~LATER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" LAVIIIIIIIIIIII" *Kanda takes out Mugen and runs towards said rabbit who just came out of Milanhime's room* " GIVE ME THOSE F***KING HANDS SO I CAN CHOP THEM OFF! NEXT TIME I HEAR SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM MILANHIME, YOU'RE DEAD!"

"... What have I done..."


	6. Hibari Kyoya: I Am Forever Your Brat

So there is Kyoua-sempai my brother figure, but did you know I have a legit Onii-sama?! We're not blood related of course, but we grew up together. NOTE: This has some references to a future story that I've been thinking about so yah! Enjoy~

* * *

**5. I Am Forever Your Brat**

*walking to Onii-sama's house* "He usually only texts me, but it must be urgent if he call-"

*entrance door whips open as I arrive to it* "What are you doing here little brat?"

"... You called me to come over immediately after I finished my errands. Did you forget Onii-sama?"

"... Come in."

*both head for the family room and we sit down at the kotatsu and the awkward begins* "Sooooo what was the important thing that you called me over for Onii-sama?"

*slides a shiny heart box to me* "Tell me, what is this for? Your friend gave it to me today."

*looks down at box, slides it back smiling smugly* "It's a gift. For you~"

"WHY."

"... Onii-sama, don't you remember what today is?"

"It's Valentine's Day."

"Yes, exactly! Sooooo this is a Valentine's Day gift to you!"

"WHY."

"..." *inhales deeply* "Well, because she wanted to since she likes you and today is a special day to give you that gift."

"WHY. I never get these things on this stupid day of crowding."

"Oh for the love of- ONII-SAMA! You rarely ever get Valentine's Day gifts because you're so 'scary' and 'mean'! And my friend happened to build up the courage to give it to you. She. Likes. YOU. A LOT... A little too much really."

*observes box* "Hm..."

"Well, eat the treats she gave to you Onii-sama! She worked really hard on it!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... You already ate it didn't you?"

"... It was good... And cute."

*jaws tighten* "Then why did you make me come all the way here to just ask that question when you already ate the gift anyway?!"

" I needed to know why, and figured you would have the answer since you are always together whenever I see you."

*sighs le big big sigh* "Well then, can I go home now Onii-sama?"

"Yes, I'll drop you off. Your parents will be upset with you going alone and I can't have a student and citizen of Namimori get in possible danger's way. Let's go little brat."

*after that nice talk and snack time we go back towards the door but I stop in my tracks* "OH! I almost forgot!" *turns around to Onii-sama fumbling through backpack*

"What is i- What is this?" *sees the frilly box that I'm shoving into his hands*

"For you Onii-sama! It's my Valentine's Day gift to you! Take it as a sibling love kind of gift!" *sparkly smile*

"... hm" *le Hibari grin* "Thank you little brat." *pats my head*

"Onii-sama, I am your only brat and always will be right?!"

"... Most likely you will forever be my brat."

"GOOD! And White Day will be coming up so I'm expecting a gift back as well as a gift to my friend! I would like my promised moe tea time with you please he he!"

"... You were planning for this weren't you?"

"Welllll-" *a ruckus is heard outside* "What's that?!"

*moves me away to open the door* "Who is disturbing the peace no-"

"HONGFA-CHAAAAAANNNNNN~ Lambo heard you were here and wants to play with you- OH!" *trips and the 10 Year Bazooka pops out*

*Pushes me away* "Little brat, ru- POOF!"

*stands in shock in the middle of pink smoke* "... Uhhhhhhhh"

"Why are you staring at me like that little brat?" *TYL Onii-sama towering over me*

" You still call me that in the future Onii-sama?"

*smiles and pats my head* "You're still my brat. You're just more mature looking in the future and live in Italy now."

"Really?! Cool! But why am I living there?" *notices his left hand* "Oh Onii-sama! You're married?! To who?! Tell me!"

*smirks* "It's a secret little brat. You'll find out in the future."

"..." *thinks really hard* "WAIT! Is it- POOF!"

*Present Onii-sama returns* "Why are you holding my hand little brat?"

"..."

"Can Hongfa-chan play with Lambo now?!"

* * *

I actually put this one on hold for over 2 years... So it feel good to publish it now finally ha ha! Send me love!


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